BRUNK HOWARD


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98

It is late at night and I am at thirty thousand feet.

Time ain’t flying and neither is sleep.

Be easier to see if I’d close my eyes

But I know without looking that I’d also see lies.


I’m trying to fly away into the sky of dreams,

To the ocean on a magic potion

That drowns out everybody’s schemes.

But my past is sitting on my shoulder

And I can’t forget what it's like to hold her.


And every beach brought by every sandman

That’s ever tiptoed past a bedpan

Can’t rock-a-bye those lies to sleep

Can’t bury them out of sight for keeps.


So I count backwards from one hundred

Reaching for unconscious peace.

But no matter how hard I concentrate

To keep the numbers straight

I never get past ninety-eight,

Never get past that tight shut gate.


When my thoughts start traveling

On divided numbered highways

And love’s pain stops traffic flow

On numberless bypass  byways.


Then I realize I’m thinkin’ words

Drowning out numbers which need to be heard.

So I return to one hundred with the hope

That every word I know feels the end of a rope.

But it happens again as though on cue,

As though there only were three numbers I knew.

Out of gas at sleep’s gate.

Stalled at ninety-eight.


I’m trying to fly away into the sky of dreams,

To the ocean on a magic potion

That drowns out everybody’s schemes.

But my past is sitting on my shoulder

And I can’t forget what it's like to hold her.


My thoughts are bound in ancient history

In my neighborhood filled with colored lights.

A visiting boy about the same age as me,

We all thought he was crazy,

Offered what he called, “The celestial mystery”.


Written numbers  to turn away the night.

Twenty-five cents for number three.

Sold them all except for ninety-seven

Which, as it was getting late,

He offered to give away for free.


But I turned away and didn't see

That life is played consecutively.

Less you fall into the sleepless hole

Where ninety-seven ought to be.

It's years later that I finally see

True beauty comes mathematically.


Somewhere there’s got to be

Ninety-sevens stretching to infinity.

Maybe heaven is the number ninety-seven

Where you go to lose the pain of night

And stop ninety-eighting  yourself

To dawn’s sacred light.


I’m trying to fly away into the sky of dreams,

To the ocean on a magic potion

That drowns out everybody’s schemes.

But my past is sitting on my shoulder

And I can’t forget what it's like to hold her.