both sides
I’m ancient, but I’m not old;
I’ll never tell, but I’ve told.
I’m not for sale, but I’m sold.
I’m just like you; I’m half of whole.
I listen, but I can’t hear.
I’m far away, but I’m near.
I’m over there, but I’m also here.
I’m just like you; let’s get a beer.
I’m confused, but I explain.
I wax, but I also wane.
I’m wild, but I’m also tame.
I’m just like you, trying to stop the rain.
I can’t help the way I am.
Being mixed up is in the plan.
To clarify you just got to shout.
Everything is certain with plenty of doubt.
I stare, but I also blink.
I got all the pieces except one link.
I once installed a kitchen sink,
Least that’s what I told my shrink.
He said, “Boy, you’re sure complex.
I guess that’s what I like about you best.
I can’t wait to hear the rest.”
I said, “Just tell me if I passed your test.”
He said, “What test might that be?”
I said, “Why, the test for insanity.”
He said, “Well, I think you're a little crazy
But it’s the insane ones that fool me.”
I hardly knew what to say.
Being two things in a peculiar way.
So I did the next best thing.
I faked hearing my telephone ring.
I said, “Hello, who is there.”
A voice said, “I’m everywhere.”
I said, “My God, this is quite a reception.”
The voice said, “Any objections?”
At that moment I couldn’t think
So I handed my phone to my shrink.
And looking out into empty air
He said to me, “There’s no one there.”
Now to this day I sometimes think
That I am both patient and shrink.
And that it’s only one side who gets to hear
God’s voice everywhere.