doggone funny
I know a man, he flat out asked me to be his friend.
When things start out like that there's only one way they can end.
The last time I was asked that question I was just turnin’ ten.
That's the age where you're still not playing life's pretend.
It's a question that you make believe doesn’t offend
Like when a bad penny asks if you’ve got money to lend.
I was thinking of quickly saying, "Come again?"
But that's already a "No" and "Yes" was out of the question
Cause I couldn’t pretend, you see I never left the age of ten.
So I said,"No", to insure that ten would never end.
It is a funny question, though, to ask someone you want as a friend.
I know a man he's the friendliest man around.
He walks up the hill backwards when he's leaving town.
He says cause walking up hill is harder than walking down.
What's funny is he also walks backwards when he's coming back down.
I guess I should tell you that his feet point the wrong way around.
I know a man with lots of friends and a joke for everything.
At the funeral of an ex-friend just before the choir sings
He eyes the widow and says, "One man's end is another's beginning."
It’s funny how in humor perfect timing is the thing.
I know a man he befriends every mirage that he sees
Cause he's not too sure about reality.
He told me once he's got a mirror image mind
He sees reflections all the time
So telling left from right can put him in a bind
And his only comfort is staring into a deep black mine.
What's funny is that he parts his hair in the middle
It's the only true answer to the reality riddle.
I know a man he says you can't trust logic.
It'll show you the light of day in a closet,
The word of god in the demonic,
Human nature in the technologic
The universe in a grain of sand
And the absolute on the other hand.
My best friend said to me the other day
"You know how I'm always pickin' up strays?
Well, I was in the woods, I'd lost my way
When I saw something that caused disarray.
A dog dressed as Charley Chaplain holding paws with a bunny”.
I thought to myself, "Now that's a dog gone funny”.