BRUNK HOWARD


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if i only knew

Well I want to do what you want me to

But something inside me says, “No.”

I want to drop; and I want to stop

But something inside me says, “Go.”


I’m searching for that voice that always makes my choice,

That has a mind of its own.

Just when it’s almost found is when it leaves town.

I never find it at home.


Is it that I want to, is it that I have to

Do the things that I do?

Would all be so clear when I hold you near

If I only knew.


It all seems so right in the tender night

As a soft breeze makes the curtains sway

But in the first morning light I can feel the primal flight

Of a cold wind that blows it all away.


I’m standing in the middle of a continuous riddle

That says yes and no at the same time.

And seconds become centuries; and certainties become worries

In the ache of my mind.


Is it that I want to, is it that I have to

Do the things that I do?

Would all be so clear when I hold you near

If I only knew.


I hear the bells chime; is it really that time?

We’ve hardly begun our chat.

We were having so much fun but I really got to run.

I got to go wash my cat.


Makes my heart blue; if you only knew

You’d see it for what it is.

When you got to go; you got to go

No matter the strength of the kiss.


Is it that I want to or is it that I have to

Do the things that I do?

Would all be so clear when I hold you near

If I only knew.


Would all be so simple; a life principle

If everything was desire.

Then it would be my voice that I hear making my choice

And my heart that is on fire.


So at the end of the day when everyone has had their say

And something needs to be done

When I lie down with you it would be that I always knew

That you are the one.


Is it that I have to or is it that I want to

Do the things that I do?

Would all be so clear when I hold you near

If I only knew.