sam best
Well a man called Sam Best was better than all the rest,
Leastwise, that's what he thought.
So one day when I was at rest I thought I'd put it to the test
With a little something I had bought.
Now Sam was always on the go; you wouldn't say he was slow
But you also wouldn't say that he was fast.
Math gave him satisfaction and although he couldn't do fractions,
He was not the kind of man to ask.
No, he was not the kind of man to ask.
Well the pie cutting tool was guaranteed to work for fools
So I thought I'd put it to the test.
I told him I got a tool could cut a pie in half
And could he say which half was bigger.
He said with a laugh that he could tell the bigger half.
"It's easy when you are the best."
Well needless to say he couldn't do it that day
And he limped off with his tail between his legs.
Now when you're in your car you don't have to drive far
Before you see his name next to Burma-Shave.