BRUNK HOWARD


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Socrates unchained

It’s undeniable it’s a coward

Who denies it rhymes with Howard.

Others are stalwart and benign.

They aver that couplet’s rhyme.


As the latter is the truth

We near the end, forsooth.

Leaving one thing left to do

Which word came first of the two?


Once every creature held on tight

As an asteroid turned day to night

And in the dinosaurs’ decline

Tiny mammals then burned to shine.


A tiny mammal upon did climb

The gender opposite of its kind.

The bottom cried , “Desist you louse.”

“The top cried, “No, I would make a mouse.


But nature was not so kind

And nature did decline

No matter the top’s persist

Baby mice remained a miss.

And so he stayed upon a mouse

And others called him Upon-a-miss

And so a word was birthed, the eponymiss.


But the kindness of mice is not unknown

As it quickly was shown

For too close to the heart is eponymiss

So not the spelling but the sound

Has come down as eponymous.

Eponymous eponymous eponymous eponymous eponymous.


Wild Bill Shakespeare came ridin’

Hot bent for leather

On a bare back horse.

Took a piece o’ paper

Dipped his quill in honey

He let drop on that piece o’ paper.


A golden word magically formed

From letters that were born

With a preordained ease.

They spelled the word

That he had heard

On a piece o’ cheese.


Two mice talking’ irony and physics,

Telling’ each other the story of eponymiss.

In an amazing stroke of worth

A big rock had hit the planet Earth

And changed the spelling of miss to mous.


Drop the E, Wild Bill, just drop the E.

It’s too close to the heart.

Wild Bill he dropped the E.

It’s there for all t’ see.


But we still don’t know,

Answers can come slow.

Was it coward before Howard

Or Howard before coward?

One day the mice will say.

One day the mice will say,

While eating a piece of cheese.